On My Mind - Dating

23 Jul 2008

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Yes, dating is on my mind. Because I have actually had some dates, which is pretty much a rare occasion. I have also found out that perhaps I am not ugly in Canada like my last column suggests. Some of you follow my monthly columns and perhaps some of you are reading me for the first time. I have the freedom here to write about whatever is on my mind. Today the topic of dating happens to be on my mind. I actually had two dates in the month of June; and its lead me to think about some things. How do some of us view dating? I actually enjoy dating; I get all girly girly about it… you know a bit nervous and excited. I try to look cute, even if it’s a casual sort of environment. Casual can be cute.

One of the dates I had, I was having a bad natural hair day, and I was a bit late…ONLY A BIT! Because I was trying to fix my natural hair gone wild, and then just as I got the hair looking good, I spilled toothpaste on my top.  I don’t know if I mentioned this but I am a bit quirky. I am not ashamed of this fact, I accept my quirks, but I had already changed my first top due to a stain that happened when my lipstick accidentally fell on my left breast, and when I tried to clean it, a large brown wet spot was formed, which did not look good, so I changed my top.  Since I was running late, let’s say that I left my apartment with a wet stain, on my second top, and again on my chest, but this time in the middle and I just prayed that with the streetcar window open, that it would be dry by the time I got to the restaurant.

I have a friend, (okay you know how people say they have a friend, but it’s really them, it’s really not me… I do have a friend), I would say that she is a serial dater; while I have hardly dated over the past three years of being single she has dated quite a bit. But the end result is the same, I may be more particular, and not as many men speak to me, but she still has not found her night in shining armour either. My philosophy on dating is that it’s a fun time, and a chance to get to know a potential friend. That’s me, old fashioned; I don’t really look beyond the date. Now, mind you I wasn’t always like that. But with age comes wisdom and with a few broken hearts, when you only have one, comes a huge reality check. At the end of the day it is what it is.

If a man likes you, he will call you and ask you out. If you go on one date and he wants to see you again, he will call you and ask you out again. Wow, imagine that all that wisdom and I still have not read the book, “He’s just not into you!” My first date in June was with a man from Philly… cool guy well put together (whatever that means) but at the end of the date; I figured he’s just not into me… I was thinking after the date about how I might come across to men, so I called one of my guy friends to ask him. He was like, “girl a lot of men ask me about you, but they think that you don’t even like men.” At first I was like “uh what do you mean?”

Then I thought hold on a minute… 1. I am always friendly, 2. I smile and if anyone speaks to me I would speak… 3. I also say hello to men and smile every day… So then I said, “You know what if they are interested in me they should step to the plate, be a man and not be intimidated.”

So then I started thinking more I mean you hear it all the time… you see it on single sites or read it… a man wants an independent woman!!! But does he really?

Does he really want a self employed, independent sister who has been single for a while, no children and presently no baggage?

I don’t know what men want, but I know one thing, I am in a place for the first time in my life, where I am fine being single, and I am fine if I meet someone too.  My eyes are always open (even when I’m sleeping)… just kidding. But, seriously, my eyes are open; I have even worked on my shyness when it comes to meeting people in public events or on a plane. (Whew last week I flew to Bermuda and whew… met a fine and very nice brother on the plane, for the first time in 25 years of flying, a gorgeous man sat beside me)… Okay sorry I was having a flashback, now back to my column.

I think the fact that a man from Toronto asked me out after meeting me at an event, last month was a wonderful thing; especially after the column I wrote. This actually had me in shock. But it was a nice shock, and it was very nice to be asked out on a date by a man who actually lives in my city. So, ladies there is hope, I have decided to not focus on being negative, but to say hello, that’s right I still smile, even when people don’t speak. I even decided to stop saying, that I would NEVER meet a man in Toronto, because who knows, perhaps I will.

So, today though I am presently not dating, dating was on my mind!

For more information on Anne-Marie Woods please go to her website www.imanicreativeconsulting.com

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