6 New movies are reviewed this week. The big one opening is the new Will Ferrell comedy LAND OF THE LOST. Also opening is MY LIFE IN RUINS, with the girl from MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING.

For those in Toronto, do not forget to check out the Otto Preminger films at the Cinematheque Ontario.

EMPTIES (Vratne Lahve) (Czech/UK 2007) **

Directed by Jan Sverak

The third collaboration of a trilogy by father and son team Jan Sverak (director) and Zdenek Sverak (lead actor and writer) after ELEMENTARY SCHOOL and the Best Foreign Film Oscar winning KOLYA, EMPTIES is unfortunately, a melodramatic disappointment.

The story centres on one disheartened ex-teacher, Josef Tkaloun (Zdenek Sverak) who quits teaching (for the unbelievable reason) after one rich kid gives him a hard time. Any teaching veteran would know how to handle such a situation to his or her advantage. Josef takes a variety of jobs, which makes no real sense in terms of plot device, one of which is the collector of EMPTIES at a store. In the midst of all the change in lifestyle, Josef’s wife feels she is unloved and rightly so – for Josef not only cheats (unsuccessfully) but has sexual dream fantasies. At the same time, love is always in the air in this Czech flick. If Josef is not looking for love, his co-worker, daughter or someone else is.

The whimsical plot would be ideal for a charming feel-good film with Prague at its backdrop. For most of the time, the film is and this is where the film succeeds. Prague and the surroundings are shown in all their splendor.

But the trouble with the Sveraks’ film is in its characters. The main lead swings between likeable and unlikeable. Everyone is lovelorn waiting for a matchmaker. The repetitions also get annoying and one would hope that the filmmaker s would give the audience credit for knowing when a point is made. For example, the poet’s line of going to the ends of the earth to find love is repeated. Oddly enough, the student in Josef’s class makes the point to him but Josef still insists that repetition is necessary.

The filming of the climatic balloon ride is impressive, offering a glimpse of the beauty of the Czech countryside. (I have been to Prague but have never seen the surrounding beauty.)

EMPTIES was a huge box-office success in the Czech Republic and judging from the Czech comments on-line, this movie is very much well loved. It is obvious that foreign audiences are unable to relate to many of scenes depicted in the film – like the change of times and monuments or sights in Prague. This might explain the reason this 2007 film took such a long time to reach North American screens.

Still, the goody-goody ending and the tiresome point-of-view that love will come to all who wait just does not work in this tale. It was widely reported that father and son had huge disagreements in the making of the film. It is easy to see where these arguments come about - for example, the dual nature of the protagonist, Josef. He is shown both to be a bitter old man, an adulterer but also a loving husband. The film also shifts uncomfortably towards nastiness (the dream sequences with the headmistress in dominatrix garb) and niceness (the couple snuggling together in the balloon basket.)

Love it or hate it, EMPTIES definitely be more appreciated by those who know the Czech Republic or have been there. The film, no doubt, has its moments.

O’HORTEN (Norway 2008) **
Director Bent Hamer

Norwegian writer/director Bent Hamer is famous for his quirky humor in films like KITCHEN STORIES and FACTOTUM.

This time around, Hamer finds his humor in the study of recent train driver retiree Horten (Bard Owe) and his ability or rather inability to adjust to his new lifestyle. Unfortunately, this character holds little interest nor do the situations concocted by Hamer. The ‘choo-choo’ cheering at Horten’s farewell party fails to achieve any sympathy or humor to the proceedings and the Norwegian wintry landscape (there are repeated shots of the train traveling out of the tunnel into he vast whiteness) seem to underline the film’s emptiness.

O’HORTEN is dead pan unfunny sub-Kaurismaki and sub-Hamer fare

LAND OF THE LOST (USA 2009) **

Directed by Brad Silberling

It is odd that Will Ferrell described LAND OF THE LOST on its opening night as JURASSIC PARK meets SOPHIE’S CHOICE. The film is nothing like both films. It seems that Ferrell and the filmmakers have no clue what their film is about or going to turn out like.

Overblown with special effects and old prehistoric cavemen film parodies, LAND OF THE LOST is basically Will Farrell escaping one hazard (or dinosaur) after another till his romance comes to fruit. The story concerns a scientist who investigates the time warp phenomenon. The film starts with a made-up talk show in which Dr. Rick Marshall (Will Farrell) is humiliated over his time travel research. Be that as it may, he finds an earth portal and travels back to a land where past, present and future exist in a weird continuum. Just as it sounds, the film takes on too much that it can chew. It misses with most of its humour. Comedic timing is awfully bad with LAND OF THE LOST landing as one of Farrell’s least funny outings.

As far as art design goes, the creatures form the T-Rex’s to the future aliens are as impressive as can be seen in any sci-fi film these days. A few of the comedic set-ups are, literally, out of this world, but most fail to generate the laughs expected. Ferrell’s sidekick, Danny McBride is annoying at most and his love interest, Anna Friel is a distraction at most. Be prepared for a lot of Ferrell’s unfunny silliness (show tunes from A CHORUS LINE, private part and lots of toilet humour).

The main villain as in NIGHT AT THE MUSEULM 2 is decked in a tunic. As in both films, the advice is that one can never trust one who wears a tunic. Maybe the saying should go that never trust a film to be good when the villain wears a tunic.

MY LIFE IN RUINS (USA/Spain 2009) 0

Directed by Donald Petrie

The tag line of MY LIFE IN RUINS says that its star (of MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING) finally goes to Greece. That she does, working as a tour operator but with disastrous results. The film is a romantic comedy at heart, full of clichéd material and stereotyped characters. It begins funny for at least 10 minutes or so, and goes downhill so fast, the film probably hits rock bottom of the ocean and comes out in China by the end of the movie.

A tour guide, Georgia (Nia Vardalos) is so uptight that her tour groups find her tours un-fun. She is romantically uninvolved as well. The plot of MY LIFE IN RUINS has Georgia She is aided by an annoying American tourist Irv (played by the annoying Richard Drefuss) who in reality has a heart of gold. find her true love (Alexis Georgoulis) during what is supposed to be her final tour.

There are lots of jokes throughout the film, some funny and others not. All the tourist jokes are there, most of them heard before if one has attended a tour excursion. No real insight is offered – none expected, to be fair, but the audience is treated to a few nice sight of Greece and her ruins.

MY LIFE IN RUINS would have not got zero rating except that it hits the putrid mark. This means that the film contains parts so appalling that it almost made me walk out of the cinema. One such part concerns an unfunny segment in which a fat kid is given a T-shirt saying ‘my rear is open’ in Greek. One would think the writer, Mike Reiss (what is surprising is that he penned the animated film QUEER DUCK) would have left homophobic humour out of films at this time and age. Worst still, the kid is hounded by gay Greek locals, again stereotyping Greeks as homosexuals. One further scene has the Canadians in the tour group called Americans by the guide, then screaming and attacking him for not making the distinction between Americans and Canadians. This segment would surely infuriate Americans, a prime target audience for this film. What are the filmmakers thinking?

This is one film in ruins from the very start! Avoid this one at all costs and save the money for a tour!

TOKYO! (France/Germany/South Korea/Japan 2008) **
Directed by Michel Gondry, Leos Carax, Joon-ho Bong

TOKYO! is a complete mixed bag of tricks. Three shorts made by world renowned supposedly visionary directors (Michel Gondry, Leos Carax and Bong Joon-ho).

All three stories are set in Tokyo, Japan. The setting could very well be any big foreign city. The common theme is how Tokyo shapes the lives of the characters in each story.

Briefly, from the press notes are the gist of each:

INTERIOR DESIGN (Michel Gondry).

A young couple tries to set themselves up in Tokyo. The young man's ambition is clear — to become a film director. His girlfriend, far more indecisive, cannot escape the vague feeling that she's losing control of her life. Directionless, both are beginning to go under in this vast city until the young woman, utterly alone, becomes the object of a bizarre transformation...

MERDE (Leos Carax)

A mysterious creature spreads panic in the streets of Tokyo by means of his provocative and destructive behavior. This man, dubbed "The Creature of the Sewers" by the media, arouses both passion and repulsion...until the moment he is captured...

SHAKING TOKYO (Bong Joon-Ho)

For more than 10 years, he's been a hikikomori. He lives shut up in his apartment, strictly limiting all contact with the outside world to an absolute minimum. When a pizza delivery girl faints in his home during an earthquake, the unthinkable happens — he falls in love. Shortly after, he learns that the girl has in turn become a hikikomori. Will he dare cross the threshold that separates his apartment from the rest of the world?

Of the three, surprisingly, the first (and not the last) is the best one, primarily for the reason that it is the one in which audiences can most relate to. Most people have at one time or other relocated, if not to a bigger city. Worst still, is the fact that someone (like a loved one) is involved as well. INTERIOR DESIGN moves on smoothly, if fact, quite unlike the director Gondry’s other odd films like ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND and THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP.

The most confusing, odd and arguably funniest is MERDE about a madman called Mr. Merde who roams Tokyo streets terrorizing pedestrians. He is captured. Tried in a courtroom, and speaking a language which can be translated, he acts stranger as the film goes weirder. The abrupt, ending with a big poke of fun to the United States is to be seen to be believed. But to many, MERDE will be merde to most watching. Director Carax made one of my favourite French romances of all time, LES AMANTS DU PONT-NEUF, but his film have gotten from worst to weirder (POLA X and this one)

The third film covers the theme of agoraphobia with a man falling in love after a girl passes out after an earthquake SHAKING TOKYO, forcing him to make eye contact with another being for the first time in 10 years. At the start, the titles emphasize the fact that a large portion of the population suffers this ailment. But director Bong’s (THE HOST) film looks almost impossible to believe. This topic was covered so much more effectively in the Norwegian film BUDDY.

TOKYO! The film looks as if these three directors are trying their best to create the oddest film in the Japanese setting. The result is at times, utter confusion.

WATERLIFE (Canada 2009) ***

Directed by Kevin McMahon

Everyone knows by now that over 80% of the earth is covered by water and the most part of the bodies of human beings is made up of water. So, it is about time a documentary be made to educate audiences on the importance of this natural resource.

The subject of WATERLIFE is the great lakes that provide 35 million people their drinking water. Director Kevin McMahon blends in a variety of music from classical (when showing minute organisms in the water) to pop to alternative. Most of his material (like the pollution and its effects of cancer, birth defects etc.) are well known but there are unfamiliar intriguing facts (the parasite fish; the inedible Asian carp) included as well. Amusing is the native Indian who takes it upon herself to walk the perimeter of the lakes to create awareness of the water problem.

McMahon has made an exhaustive well intentioned documentary. WATERLIFE was screened at this year’s hot docs and the distributors are hoping the film will do well because of its topical relevant subject.