Christine Does Europe...For The Very First Time
10 days + 1 sexy boyfriend + 1 erratic, A-type personality sister + 1 English frat-boy type brother-in-law - proper sleep of any sort + 1 round-trip ticket to London + 1 round-trip ticket Amsterdam + 1 single-trip visit to English doctor's office = 1 very interesting trip.
THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT ENGLAND:
The executive lounge at Pearson Airport. I don't know what we did to deserve this, but it was an excellent start to our 8:00 AM flight.
THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT ENGLAND:
The executive lounge at Pearson Airport. I don't know what we did to deserve this, but it was an excellent start to our 8:00 AM flight.
The accent. I can never get enough of it.
The rolling green hills. Because they're great to frolic in. And unlike Toronto's usual pukey green landscape, England has about three thousand different shades of glorious green to revel in.
The rolling green hills. Because they're great to frolic in. And unlike Toronto's usual pukey green landscape, England has about three thousand different shades of glorious green to revel in.
The pubs. I love the fact that most local watering holes seem to come straight from a Lord of the Rings movie set. I half expected to see Elijah Wood in the corner, murmuring about his love for Sam Gamgee.
The tube. Efficient, practical, and extensive. Also surprisingly clean considering that trash cans in London seem to be almost non-existent.
The sights.
The tube. Efficient, practical, and extensive. Also surprisingly clean considering that trash cans in London seem to be almost non-existent.
The sights.
Family. I met my little cousins for the very first time, and they are the most precious girls in the world. They schooled me on all things Barbie, but I still think I did a pretty good job with her make-over. I should also state that it's not a very good idea to try to talk to children after you've had several glasses of wine and start ranting and raving like a lunatic about what makes a good boyfriend. I think from now on I am going to be referred to as the "crazy auntie from Toronto."
The friendly bus drivers. Toronto could learn a thing or two about this. Also: Double decker buses. They really rock.
The abundance of countryside. I might just throw in the towel one day and take residence on a field to raise sheep and horses. Maybe I'll even have an ox. It's truly breathtaking to be surrounded by all the lush green and the fresh country air.
Bath. A really elegant city without any airs of pretentiousness. Preserved beauty with a cosmopolitan flair. And where else can you have violinists playing on the street?
The abundance of countryside. I might just throw in the towel one day and take residence on a field to raise sheep and horses. Maybe I'll even have an ox. It's truly breathtaking to be surrounded by all the lush green and the fresh country air.
Bath. A really elegant city without any airs of pretentiousness. Preserved beauty with a cosmopolitan flair. And where else can you have violinists playing on the street?
THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT AMSTERDAM:
The relaxed atmosphere. No one's ever in a rush in Amsterdam, which makes it the perfect place to kick back and relax, especially when you might need a break from a very high-maintenance sister.
Impromptou bar hopping. Bars are ample and the liquor never stops. I get the feeling that public drunkenness is a rite-of-passage in Amsterdam.
The bars. Oops, did I already mention this?
The Red Light District. I won't really miss it, per se, but walking through this infamous district did pique my curiosity more than it should. How does one go about applying for a position here? Who cleans these rooms? Are these prostitutes covered by a quality medical insurance plan? I hope so.
Meeting Günther. Okay, so his name really isn't Günther, but I don't think we had a chance for proper introductions since he was a) drunk; b) stoned; and c) probably crazy. We bumped into him during one of our many frequent bar stops, and he was fabulous. And by "fabulous," I mean hilariously drunk.
The Red Light District. I won't really miss it, per se, but walking through this infamous district did pique my curiosity more than it should. How does one go about applying for a position here? Who cleans these rooms? Are these prostitutes covered by a quality medical insurance plan? I hope so.
Meeting Günther. Okay, so his name really isn't Günther, but I don't think we had a chance for proper introductions since he was a) drunk; b) stoned; and c) probably crazy. We bumped into him during one of our many frequent bar stops, and he was fabulous. And by "fabulous," I mean hilariously drunk.
Vacationing with friends. Even though Erin and Dwayne live in Toronto and we see each other regularly, there's just something about being in a new city together that really makes you appreciate the friendship. They made the 6:00 AM flight to and from Amsterdam very worthwhile.
THINGS I WON'T MISS ABOUT ENGLAND:
Heathrow Airport. Heathrow Airport is hell on Earth. Getting there 3 1/2 hours before your flight only to find a large line-up for baggage check-in is ridiculous. It also doesn't help when employees are often disgruntled, rude, and ready to scream "terrorist!" at the drop of a hat. I think my experience was also marred by the fact that on the flight to Amsterdam, we were "randomly" searched and x-rayed, and on the flight back to Toronto I had my carry-on withheld, searched, and swabbed for potential explosive residue. I also love the fact that after the contents of my bag were thoroughly examined, including my wallet and digital camera, I was left to scramble and throw everything back in myself, trying to find my dignity along the way. Maybe it's my shifty eyes that make me a target for random searches...but either way, the mass hysteria has got to stop.
Flying with Air Canada. The flight back to Toronto was excrutiating, and the stewards and stewardesses on the plane didn't alleviate the pain of the experience. The airplanes are old, the staff is often condescending and dismissive, and the food sucks. I know the last is a given, but would it hurt to spruce up the menu once in a while? I have grown weary of breakfast omelettes, especially ones that don't even taste like egg. I was also chagrined to hear a very disturbing exchange between two employees, which culminated in one of them muttering, "It's the Asian thing all over again." That's...great. No wonder Air Canada went bankrupt once before.
Customs. I don't ever again want to hear anyone ask me why I am in London, why I'm leaving London, why I'm in Toronto, where I'm coming from, why I chose to wear red today, what souveniers I brought, why I suck at organized sports, or what my favourite breakfast cereal is. In a beautiful dream I had once, I got to reply, "None of your business!" Of course, I know better than to talk back because I realize that spending $1200 on a plane ticket entitles me to take the abuse of hoity customs officers.
Gastrointestinal troubles. I don't know if it was the flight, the airplane food, or a simple twist of fate, but having these sorts of problems while you're in a foreign country really sucks. For the first part of the trip, I was incapacitated with pain and nausea, which led to my visit with a very nice English doctor. He looked severe but was very gentle and mild-mannered, and was kind enough to give me a call the next day to see how I was doing -- which is a heck of a lot more than most guys would do. Ha! That was a joke...sort of. But seriously, I do think a part of me fell in love with him on that fateful wintry day.
The overheated tube. Like a sauna, that tube is. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like during England's heat wave.
Sleeping in airports and airplanes. Because it's very uncomfortable, and I have no idea how Ben does it.
Flying with Air Canada. The flight back to Toronto was excrutiating, and the stewards and stewardesses on the plane didn't alleviate the pain of the experience. The airplanes are old, the staff is often condescending and dismissive, and the food sucks. I know the last is a given, but would it hurt to spruce up the menu once in a while? I have grown weary of breakfast omelettes, especially ones that don't even taste like egg. I was also chagrined to hear a very disturbing exchange between two employees, which culminated in one of them muttering, "It's the Asian thing all over again." That's...great. No wonder Air Canada went bankrupt once before.
Customs. I don't ever again want to hear anyone ask me why I am in London, why I'm leaving London, why I'm in Toronto, where I'm coming from, why I chose to wear red today, what souveniers I brought, why I suck at organized sports, or what my favourite breakfast cereal is. In a beautiful dream I had once, I got to reply, "None of your business!" Of course, I know better than to talk back because I realize that spending $1200 on a plane ticket entitles me to take the abuse of hoity customs officers.
Gastrointestinal troubles. I don't know if it was the flight, the airplane food, or a simple twist of fate, but having these sorts of problems while you're in a foreign country really sucks. For the first part of the trip, I was incapacitated with pain and nausea, which led to my visit with a very nice English doctor. He looked severe but was very gentle and mild-mannered, and was kind enough to give me a call the next day to see how I was doing -- which is a heck of a lot more than most guys would do. Ha! That was a joke...sort of. But seriously, I do think a part of me fell in love with him on that fateful wintry day.
The overheated tube. Like a sauna, that tube is. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like during England's heat wave.
Sleeping in airports and airplanes. Because it's very uncomfortable, and I have no idea how Ben does it.
Roundabouts. I am certain that I would never be able to drive in England. And the fact that these often make me car sick would not bode well for my driver's test.
THINGS I WON'T MISS ABOUT AMSTERDAM:
The downtown core. Very tourist-y and kind of dreary. Also: The Anne Frank Museum does not look like anything that I'd imagined, unless Anne lived in a four storey condominium and had a restaurant with floor-to-ceiling windows right on her second floor.
The tourist shops. I'm all about the kitsch, but even I have to draw a line at penis-shaped salt & pepper shakers. Seriously, I'd pay to find out who would actually use these in their home.
The tolls for public washrooms. Exuberantly capitalist, if you ask me.
Despite my complaining and simple musings, I'm glad I finally got off my ass and actually went somewhere. The trip was good times, and I wouldn't trade in the experience for the world.
THINGS I WON'T MISS ABOUT AMSTERDAM:
The downtown core. Very tourist-y and kind of dreary. Also: The Anne Frank Museum does not look like anything that I'd imagined, unless Anne lived in a four storey condominium and had a restaurant with floor-to-ceiling windows right on her second floor.
The tourist shops. I'm all about the kitsch, but even I have to draw a line at penis-shaped salt & pepper shakers. Seriously, I'd pay to find out who would actually use these in their home.
The tolls for public washrooms. Exuberantly capitalist, if you ask me.
Despite my complaining and simple musings, I'm glad I finally got off my ass and actually went somewhere. The trip was good times, and I wouldn't trade in the experience for the world.
posted by Christine at
12:14 PM
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