The Silence Is Broken

So, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are welcoming a new baby girl into their lives. Her name is Suri, which I actually think is a very pleasant and serene name and for once, doesn't make me worry for her traumatized-by-weird-names-conjured-up-by-celebrity-parents life.

For the last two months, I had mistakenly thought that Holmes had already given birth (wait, what about Brangelina?!? Doesn't it seem like Angelina Jolie has been pregnant with her love child for the better part of the 19th century?). But then I remembered that US Weekly was still printing stories about relationship-on-the-rocks something or other, and parents-hating-Cruise blah blah blah, so it would seem strange that they wouldn't be jumping all over the silent Scientology birthing and whatnot (complete with pacifiers to better hold your tongue). And to add to my confusion, Holmes has been huge for what seems like the past ten years, so even at three months, she already appeared like she was due for a quintuplet labour at any given moment.

Last week, Tom Cruise had a very...errant interview with Diane Sawyer. In this interview, which was basically a retread of last summer's outlandish interviews hoopla, Cruise revealed that Holmes is a Scientologist. But...wasn't she practically a Scientologist from the moment they laid eyes on each other and began their suspect and contracted relationship? What I mean to say is: wow. This reminds me of the same level of surprise I had once it was confirmed that Christina Aguilera was NOT a natural blonde (despite the fact that her devoted fans call it "dirty blonde/light brunette," just like my natural hair colour is a very auburn blackish brown).

While Cruise was busy chatting up Diane Sawyer, I was watching Thank You For Smoking -- a very good film that features Holmes in a small part (which the IMDB.com lists as being her last known film project). I have to commend her for taking on such a wanton role, and wholeheartedly playing against her "Dawson's Creek" type. But I'm also kind of disappointed to hear that she plans on stepping back from acting, as her career resume clearly indicates that she was on the rise before she...became distracted. And more disheartening to know is that maybe Cruise likes 'em a little barefoot and pregant, because he's currently got projects lined up until 2008. I guess someone has to pay the Scientologist bills.

Despite my smack talking and reservations about a relationship that is completely none of my business, I am glad for the couple and know that they will make very loving (albeit misguided) parents.

In other baby news, Cruise's arch nemesis, Brooke Shields, has given birth to her second child. Could this be some karmic sign that the two should call a truce? Maybe their children will grow up to have a Romeo & Juliet-type of tragic friendship, while the Cruises and Shields wage war on each other. Or maybe not. At least their fate is much better than, say, depending on Britney Spears and Kevin Federline for their basic needs like food, shelter, and quality of life.