Colin Farrell Is Too Famous! (And other people are as well)

I am guilty of being a blogger deadbeat, so I decided to update a little. Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to really put together a regular post since winter is setting in and making me lazier than usual. This is an item I originally wrote for happygrrls.com, and here it is in all its unedited glory. (Please excuse the rambling and such.)

Item: Some people are too famous -- but not in the sense that they are too well-known. Well, okay, in that sense. But also in the sense that they are undeservedly too well-known. And here are just some who might be too famous for our own good.

Paris Hilton: Paris fills her days with shopping and slutty inclinations. The only thing she has going for her is the Hilton family name, which she's only earned by birth. But we no longer live in a feudal system! Just like Lizzie Grubman, I have no idea as to how or why people are so widely regarded simply because they have a wild party-goer reputation. Paris has had her share of non-slutty endeavors (a book, a TV show here and there, some film time) but is still most widely renowned for her badly lit porn videos and man-boy conquests, which were a precursor, not result of, her more legit endeavors. She also has a dog that is fairly famous for doing nothing (I mean, Lassie never got any expensive doggie clothes, and she did a heck of a lot more than Tinkerbell). How many vapid blondes would kill for the chance to fill Paris' shoes?

Kevin Federline: The Cheetos aren't doing any wonders for Kevin's complexion, and neither is his burgeoning rap career. Kevin, formerly known as the dancer who knocks up women during commercials, is now known as Mr. Britney Spears. First, marrying Britney Spears is no big feat - heck, you can smell her neediness from a mile away; and second, marrying Britney Spears is not even in the same universe as, say, heavy petting with Halle Berry. Nevertheless, everyone got what they wanted out of this unholy union: Britney has a lil' bundle of joy who has to love her, no matter what, and Kevin has the leverage to put out bad rap albums and sleep with skanky fame whores. I mean, skanky fame whores who aren't him. So everybody wins!

Paris Latsis and Stavros Niarchos: Both were victims of the trend-of-the-week (millionaire heirs and blonde starlet couplings), and lived to tell about it. But besides this, there isn't much else that these two actually do. For further explanation, please see Paris Hilton.

Brandon Davis: Ditto for you, Mr. Oil Heir. Dating Mischa Barton and having your picture in the tabloids as you caress her bony body and shove your tongue down her throat does not constitute an actual worth. And Mischa Barton isn't that famous.

Tara Reid: I know Tara Reid is an actress and pays for her own bills, but a quick rundown of her resume indicates that her roles are as important in this world as those little rings that you put around three-holed paper to keep the pages together. Josie and the Pussycats? Van Wilder? My Boss' Daughter? Not that great. I do, however, give kudos to Reid for befriending someone who may possibly be at her intellectual level (Paris Hilton, of course) and getting her start on "Saved By The Bell: The New Class." Let's not forget the American Pie series, although she was conspicuously absent for the third and final installment. But let's forget her weak attempt at becoming a pseudo-celebrity by trying to name a show after herself ("Taradise") and failing miserably. Even the E! Network can't buy into that crap.

Colin Farrell: Some people might find Farrell attractive - and he is blessed with a good set of rugged genes - but even fewer would ever admit to watching any of his films. Let's see, there's: American Outlaws, Phone Booth, S.W.A.T., Alexander. Blockbusters which did feature Farrell, like Minority Report and Daredevil, were widely lauded for things besides Farrell, who could have easily been replaced by a potato sack for all the good he did to bring in the sales. His philandering ways have garnered him more press than his actual acting. For once, I'd like to see Farrell step away from his own over-inflated ego (and, as rumoured by early screenings of A Home at the End of the World, his other over-inflated parts) and concentrate on his career.

Omarion/Marques Houston/Mario: They're the new breed of boy-band, except there's only one of them and they specialize in overly stylized generic R&B ballads instead of overly stylized generic pop ballads. Until one of them becomes the next Usher, they're all too interchangeable and too overplayed on BET's "106 & Park" to be taken seriously as a force to be reckoned with - although, seriously, any one of them could be more famous than irritating Bow Wow.

Did anyone see The American Music Awards? (I didn't get to see it due to my penchant for spontaneous napping.) Good...bad..or just plain boring? And...is anyone actually planning to buy the R. Kelly "Trapped In the Closet" DVD extravaganza set?

Happy Thanksgiving to our neighbours to the south,

Christine