Sienna Miller Is NOT That Innocent! (And other feuding news)

Item: British actress Sienna Miller has admitted to infidelity with her Layer Cake co-star, Daniel Craig. As we may have heard about a thousand times, Miller and her fiancé, Jude Law, had only recently reconciled after he lusted, repeatedly, for his children's nanny. Trackback the double-cross here.

Apparently, "close" sources to Law say that he is livid and has kicked Sienna out of their shared loft...or house...or mansion...or wherever it is that rich actors live. To add icing to the cake, Craig is one of Law's oldest and dearest friends. Well, then. I suppose the nanny might be a free-for-all, but a friend is just crossing the line here. I don't condone cheating at all, but I do appreciate all the karma that is going around.

Now, if I were a body language expert of any kind, or lived next-door to one, I could easily have predicted this waaaay before anyone ever laid the moves on anyone else. Exhibit A (on the left): A random picture I found on the Internet. See the way that Law is staring at something off-camera, sticking his tongue out? Well, that's the universal body sign for "I want to shlup my children's nanny right this moment." And the way his shirt is opened, forming a V-shape where his chest meets the shirt -- that's the universal pimp sign of a man looking for a good time. Put them together, and it's pretty clear he wasn't being very faithful. Now, Miller is sitting very close to Law, which is always a good sign (in the very least, we can assume that he doesn't smell offensive on this particular day). But the way she places her hand deliberately near hear head suggests that she is putting some distance between them; that, or she doesn't want him to see that she is clearly transfixed on something else, and we might as well just assume that it was probably Daniel Craig, trying to signal to her for a quickie. Her vacant stare is the universal sign for a "Yeah, why not?"

Craig is not only Miller's latest conquest, but he's also been tapped to play the next James Bond. Trackback the legacy here. I know many a-website were having heated debates about who the next James Bond would be, and because Craig hasn't really broken into the mainstream North American market (The Jacket doesn't count), many were surprised for the pick -- or perhaps appalled, if they had already envisioned someone else as Bond. I think Craig deserves the benefit of the doubt, and has already appeared in over 30 films. Plus, he has gotten rave reviews as a cocaine dealer in Layer Cake. (Do you recognize the actor on the far right? That's Colm Meaney, who played Chief Miles O'Brien on "Star Trek: The Next Generation." He rocked.) I haven't personally seen Layer Cake, but apparently Craig rocks the "XXXX" name better than Vin Diesel, and Diesel only had three x's in his name.

Item: Paris Hilton has ruffled Mary-Kate Olsen's feathers by gallivanting about town with her ex-boyfriend, billionaire heir-wunderboy Stavros Niarchos. Yeah, I don't really know who he is either. The dark-haired half of the millionaire twins feels betrayed by Hilton. Like that's a first. Trackback the drama here.

I wanted to post this story last week, but I figured that one tweenage feud per week was my cap. So let's pretend that this just happened.

Hilton insists the pair are "just friends" and is happy living the single life. In the same soundbite, she hints that her ex-fiancé, Paris something-or-other, cheated on her during his bachelor party. Although I wish she would eat a piece of bread or pick up a book once in a while, I don't really feel one way or another about Paris Hilton. But I can say that even though she has a new boyfriend every five seconds and is addicted to making sex tapes (and news has yet to break out that she goes the way of Sienna Miller), she can't really be blamed for this Olsen feud -- after all, Olsen and Niarchos are broken up. The worst I can attribute to Hilton is bad form for hanging out with a friend's ex, but nothing is inherently wrong with that. And I can't believe I just stuck up for Paris Hilton.

It seems nowadays, no one wants to hang out with Hilton anymore. The entertainment pages at myway.com list Sophia Bush, Jessica Simpson, Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and a slew of other like-minded, pseudo-celebrity, party-going waifs, among those that have shunned Hilton. We know why Richie is no longer in the picture (mmm hmm) but...wait, is that Hilary Duff? How did she get on the list? I thought the girl never went out. Also in other Hilton-related news, "The Simple Life" has been cancelled. Trackback the tragedy here.

At least Hilton will always have Tara Reid. Which makes me feel just a bit sadder for some reason...

But I'm elated that I'm not carrying Tom Cruise's spawn,

Christine