Gwen Stefani Ain't No Home Wrecker! (And other scandalous news)

Item: Gwen Stefani was up for the role of Mrs. Smith in the film Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The role, as we all know, ultimately went to Angelina Jolie. Trackback story here.

Stefani claims that she went to a whopping 40-something auditions before finding out the role would not be hers. And while I don't doubt that Stefani is very capable of kicking ass, I think Jolie's casting was a better choice. Stefani is a bad-ass with semi-decent songs, but Jolie is the mother of all bad-asses. Plus, she's a much better actress.

Interestingly, the blurb claims that Stefani could have "saved Jennifer Aniston's marriage." Now, I don't know if this insinuates that Brad Pitt would not have been remotely interested in Stefani, thus allowing his wandering libido to stay put. Or maybe this is because Stefani is married. Or maybe it's because Stefani is not a dirty home-wrecking jezebel like Jolie. But any way you take it, you can kind of picture Jennifer Aniston shaking her fist right about now. Which brings us to...

Item: Jennifer Aniston has been caught gallivanting around town with her co-star, Vince Vaughn. The two were recently shooting a film called The Break Up, slated for release sometime in 2006. Trackback story here.

The other day I wandered into Shopper's Drug Mart and started perusing their magazine stash. Actually, the one I went to had a poor selection -- I mean, they still had that atrocious W issue with Katie Holmes on the cover. But I digress. None of the magazines looked remotely interesting, and I'm kind of sick at looking at the same covers over and over again. "Is Lindsay Lohan too skinny?" (yes), "Ben and Jen's romantic weekend!" (I lost a lot of respect when she let him impregnate her, willingly), "Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey on the rocks -- exclusive pictures inside!" (I guess once the sex was given up, there isn't much mystery left to their relationship), and so forth.

As I made my way to the counter, I spotted a lone, stray magazine sitting on the shelf. I usually try not to look at those particular magazines because they pique my curiosity way too much for me to feel good about myself, but I couldn't help it. I don't remember which magazine this was, but the cover claimed it was a new tabloid in the style of US Weekly or People. Weekly People, maybe. So I picked it up and scanned the exclusive pictures of Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, looking for a gossip high.

Instead, like usual, I was chagrined to find that these pictures didn't really relay much about their supposed torrid affair. There were some beach pictures (like the ones above; and how dare Aniston take off her top when Vaughn is sitting right next to her! Has she no decency?!?) as well as some pictures taken in the park. One had -- gasp! -- Aniston riding on Vaughn's back. Another had them in a harmless embrace. Some might read it as being intimate (did I forget to mention that this "exclusive" story had a "body language specialist" weigh in?), but it doesn't conclusively tell me that Vaughn is riding the waves, if you know what I mean. I've seen people at clubs act more "intimate" toward one another and not be lovers. Maybe Vaughn's just really touchy feely, or Aniston likes to flirt with men over six feet tall. Who knows. All I know is that I've had piggy back rides before (just the other day, my postman and I had a delightful romp), and that didn't mean I was sexually involved with the giver of the piggy back ride. Give me more, Weekly People or People US or whatever you're called, dammit!

On another note, we've all heard (and seen) the criticism that Vaughn is getting a little pudgy. But in the above beach pictures, he seems fine to me or, at least, back in shape. In fact, he looks way better than I would have imagined he would look without any clothes. Check out his semi-six pack. It sure looks a hell of a lot better than mine, that's for sure.

Not a home-wrecker, but I may play one on a reality show,
Christine